“Are you pregnant?” A coworker had the nerves to ask me this question, in the presence of two other coworkers, all women. So we all knew that if my response was yes, she was in the clear and if my response was no, there would be hell to pay. “Uh, no,” I responded. She turned beet-red. Cue in “I’m so sorry” and the “You look great” responses from all present. Never mind the lip service, I was just inadvertently told that I looked as if I were with child! Now I had a complex.
To be honest, the sweets, sodas, and Chick-fil-A visits had all gotten out of hand. I let myself go! I just never imagined things had gotten to the point that I looked as though I was supporting life! I had gone up a full dress size from a size 4 to a 6 (okay, borderline 8). And I had gained a considerable amount of weight in my midsection, my butt as well, but my husband says that’s good weight!
After a long, hard look in the mirror, I realized I had become so consumed with Taylor’s well-being (her clothes, her hair, her health) that I started to neglect myself.
For health reasons, there are many things that I had cut out of my diet years ago. However, once Taylor began eating solids, it became more preferable for me to pick up a quick burger for lunch in lieu of the kid-friendly leftovers I made for dinner.
I started wearing my hair in a bun instead of taking the time to curl it. I was wearing very “teacheresque” clothing outside of the classroom. I stopped getting manicures and even gave up salon visits. I even stopped applying eyeliner; and everyone knows I love my black eyeliner! I lost “my sexy” and desperately needed it back.
As a mom, we often get in a rut. We are so busy taking care of others that we forget to care for ourselves. I focus so much on Taylor’s appearance because I didn’t want anyone to label me a bad mother if she doesn’t appear cared for. But what about me! I was starting to look like I wasn’t cared for.
So after a full month of being on a quest to reclaim my sexy, I have gotten a much needed color and cut. I’ve bought more contemporary clothing. I’ve started getting manicures again, once a week actually. For fun I sometimes get nail designs. I started paying more attention to what I eat again, and my waist is back to its normal size. Best of all, I look in the mirror and I see Artina, not just Taylor’s mommy and Marcus’s wife, but the woman who is the hippest chick I know.