Dear Sleep, I Miss You Very Much

Dear Sleep,

I miss you very much. You and I used to be such great friends. I remember the days when we were young, back in high school and college when we used to while away the weekend mornings together. I remember the first five years of my marriage, when you, the hubby, and I were such wonderful companions. I remember sleeping in, and even occasional Sunday afternoon naps. Oh, such sweet memories!

Then came Baby #1. We saw less of each other, but we still got along pretty well, didn’t we? That whole “sleep when the baby sleeps” adage worked well for us. When Gracie took a nap, I frequently did too. When she went to bed at 7:30 for a while, so did I. I wish I would have been more appreciative of you back in those days. I thought I was deprived of you, but I didn’t know what the word deprivation meant. Not till Baby #2 and beyond.

Fast forward five years, and now I miss you desperately. I can count on one hand the decent nights you and I have had together in the past few years. There’s just so many little kids coming between us. The big one usually sleeps well, but if the boys sleep well, we can always count on her to have a nightmare to interrupt our time together. The preschooler does okay, unless he has a cold, in which case he screams for help to wipe his nose. Because seriously, at 3 a.m., he can’t be bothered to grab a tissue on his own. The toddler, well, it’s that silly “Ginky” that he can’t seem to keep in his mouth. Doesn’t matter if he has one in each hand and a halo of pacifiers around him on his pillow, he still has to shatter the quiet of the night to call out for me to leave you and put a plug in him. And truthfully, the thing holding me back from trying to break him of his “ginky” habit is the fear that I’ll see less of you than I already do!

Then finally came Baby #4. You and I started to lose touch during the pregnancy, when discomfort, insomnia, and a seriously crowded bladder came between us. Then my precious baby was born. He needed fed three times a night, and I was the girl with the goods to get the job done. In the past few months, we’ve had a couple of decent five to six-hour spells together, but lately my hungry little pudge has needed more nourishment to get his over-sized body through the night. And so, we’ve taken another step backwards in our relationship, separating from one another two or three times a night for feedings, and countless other times for binkies and other night time issues.

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, old friend, and you have indeed been way too absent lately. I find myself longing for you both day and night. I think we might need to ditch the kiddos and spend a night, or dare I hope, a weekend together. We can invite the hubby too, because I suspect he misses you as much as I do. We could spend an uninterrupted night together, because I also suspect that, given the chance, both hubby and I would choose to be with you all night than to other things together without you. We’ll find time for that later.

Until that day when we can finally be together again, just know that I’m thinking of you and I miss you. Some day, in a few years, we’ll be together all the time again. I pray I won’t take you for granted. Remind me of these days so I can truly appreciate our time together.

Love always,

Megan