I feel like this is my firstborn child. Everything that you are not supposed to do, I am doing. I have been nursing Dana to sleep or nursing her until we both fall asleep in my bed together. I have been rocking her to sleep or letting her sleep in her bouncy seat, stroller or any place other than her crib. It is a matter of survival at this point. I need the baby to sleep so that I can sleep. I am so tired and have not recovered from childbirth, or from having two horrible baby nurses and massive sleep deprivation. I have totally forgotten what it is like to have a newborn. I thought all babies do is eat sleep, poop and cry. Not my Dana. She just cries, screams and eats and poops. At times she is just inconsolable. I can walk or rock her for hours and she just does not calm down or sleep. I have had to wake Rob for help. At times I am just so frustrated, and then I feel terrible for not being able to help her calm down or sleep. Not sure what is going on but I am beyond exhaustion. I have been sleeping during the day when I eventually get her to sleep.
I have no patience for my kids. I feel terrible about this. They are at school all day, and then once they come home all I want to do is put them to bed and then myself. I really don’t think it was like this with my other kids, but maybe it was. It is truly a matter of survival, and I will do what I have to so that I can get through this. Dana is just a very unhappy baby and I am not sure why. My other kids were not like this, and it is so upsetting to see. I think she must have colic. I have tried everything, and nothing works in making Dana calm down or stop crying. At least she is not waking Marlee and Bradley up. I am so sad that my baby is unhappy. I have spoken with the pediatricians and they say that it shall pass. Well, I can’t wait for that to happen.